RIP

Elizabeth Patricia O'Callaghan Gehrke
"Lily"

November 21, 2012

10:25 AM

My Dearest Lily

As I sit here watching you in your last days I weep for all that was, is, and someday soon will be no more.  My how you have fought so steadfastly with humor and grace this awful awful disease. Perhaps your fight isn't over but your decline in the last month and especially the last few days leads me to think the battle is nearly over and Alzheimer's wins again.

As sick as you are you continue to smile and be as helpful as you possibly can. True to your old self the gift of gab keeps on giving. Lying with your eyes closed you continue to talk, laugh, and sing.  Is it a coincidence that the song that you are singing over and over is:

Show me the way home

I'm tired and I want to go to bed

Easter 2012

Our beloved Lily

Halloween 2009

Running Shorts

Recently after running I stopped by to pick Lily up for the day in my running shorts.  She looks at me, slaps me on the rear, and says quite smartly,

"Isn't that a little short for a 65 year old woman?"


Only funny if you know I am only 54 years young, lol. Of course, she still thinks of me as her older sister.

possible link between Alzheimers and Cold Sores

 I have wondered about this connection for sometime now.  I have also wondered if there is any connection with Shingles.  I do know Lily had occasional cold sores.  Never shingles as far as I know.

http://www.oprah.com/health/A-Link-Between-Alzheimers-and-Cold-Sores/1

Homecoming 08

Back when Lily was still doing her eyebrows!

Glen Campbell I Have Alzheimer's

Glen Campbell I Have Alzheimer's

By Bob DeMarco Alzheimer's Reading Room

October 2009

Maybe I'm Right, Maybe I'm Wrong, Loving You Dear LIke I Dooooo

December 2006

Emily & Lily

Memories

Going through photos.  This was from 2005 following one of Emily's recitals.
me, Chris, Lily, Jenny, Emily, Dan, and Ryan.

Kind of makes me sad......

My Name is Lisa

My Name is Lisa

By Bob DeMarco Alzheimer's Reading Room

Happy Mothers Day Lily!

My Hero ~ Elizabeth Patricia O'Callaghan Gehrke (Lily)

(previously posted 11/3/10)

Looking back at my journey with Lily I have to say dealing with my mother 3 to 4 years ago was much tougher in some ways than the last year has been.  Although she was more independent then, meaning less work for me, she was more emotional, moody, and mean.  I wonder about that now and think perhaps it was due to a number of things not with just her, but also with me such as:

-me struggling to accept the diagnosis and what it would mean to herself, myself, and our family 
-her picking up on my feelings and reacting to them

-me trying to reorient her to reality even though I knew better
-her trying to cope with her diminishing abilities


-me trying to include her into my world and routine
-her hanging on desperately to what was left of her world and routine

-me trying to control too much
-her trying to maintain her independence

-me being able to let the small things go
-her just trying to continue to do the small things

-me learning to find humor wherever possible and encouraging her to laugh
-her dealing with uncertainty, loss, and depression with all the changes

-me learning to live in the moment and enjoying all that is left
-her trying to remember the lost moments

-me dealing with not very helpful family members
-her missing the people who were part of her old life


When I compare the two lists I would much rather be on my end. It brings tears to my eyes thinking of all my mother has had to work through and all her losses. Yes, there have been numerous hidden blessings, but even with all those I would still rather my mother have kept her cognitive abilities.  That obviously was not God's plan and we must roll with what we are given.  

I am proud of myself and my family for putting a  positive spin on this unforgiving disease, but most of all I sincerely admire my mother for her continual fight maintaining her positive spirit and her relentless get up and go, never giving up.  As hard as it is on the caregivers we must never forget all our loved ones have lost.


MOM YOU ARE MY HERO!

Alzheimer's: Diabetes of the Brain?

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Happy St. Patricks Day

Lily's Lulus

"Look they are all old. One is as old as the next."


"Mom, You are old too."


"I don't give a damn."

Shoulder pain

I have found it difficult to blog here lately as we do not have internet at our house which makes it much harder to post and we have been very busy trying to do a few things around the house.

I did receive a call from Mom's nurse today and she was seen by the nurse practitioner for her shoulder which has been hurting her the last couple of weeks.

I believe she fell as she also had an abrasion on her knee.  Of course she couldn't verify this.

She started to complain of her shoulder a couple of days after I noticed the abrasion on her knee which made me wonder if she perhaps jammed her shoulder when she fell.

The nurse practitioner ordered a shoulder xray and started her on a pain patch for a few days.  I really hope that does not affect her cognition.

I will try to get to Panera more often but it is a good 20 minutes from our house.

Florida

Well we made it.  Dan and I arrived Sunday evening to Ponce Inlet south of Daytona Beach after driving all day.  We actually made pretty darn good time even with pulling a large trailer full of Dan's tools to work on our house.

The trip down was good and took my mind off the distress I was feeling leaving our Ohio home, Lily, Ryan, and friends.  I was surprised by my feelings not expecting to be so out of sorts.  I knew I would miss Mom and be worried about her while gone but the other feelings of uncertainty took me by surprise.

I guess just knowing we would be gone for at least 6 weeks and the feeling of our family being scattered across the country--Emily in Tucson, Ryan and Lily in 2 different cities in Ohio, and Dan and I in Florida made for some very edgy feelings ruminating through me.

The morning after we arrived it was pouring rain and quite chilly with the inside temperature being 59 degrees, the vegetation overgrown, and remnants of dead bugs through the house.  I thought to myself,  "And this is what I have been looking forward for years?"  Even Dan was a little put off.
\
However, once we got the furnace fixed, a warmer house, the floors vacuumed and the rain slowing in the afternoon, we both started perking up.

This morning with the sun out in full glory we walked the beach enjoying the warmth and breeze, I remembered why I wanted to be here.

My neightbor Anne will be visiting Lily and plans to call me so I can talk to her.  I am hoping she is doing well which also will be a huge relief.