Thursday, February 4, 2010

Sue's Eulogy to her Mother

Today I received in the mail a sweet card from my cousin John's wife Sue who recently lost her mother due to Alzheimer's Disease.  She also included a copy of the eulogy she gave at her funeral.  I was deeply touched by both the card and the eulogy and am posting some of her comments which were most meaningful to me.

from the card......

"There are some cards that have been more difficult than others to write and yours is near the top of that list.
I guess it's because I know that you know.  You live with your Mom, you watch the changes, and you know.  No matter how much things change it's still your Mom."

from the eulogy for Marie Elizabeth Kurilich (1925-2009).......

"As for me, a word that has been in my head when I think about Mom is 'essence'.  Dementia took away much of her thinking ability, but it left untouched the essence of Mom---pure goodness, kindness, and sweetness."

"One of Mom's favorite sayings was: 'Everything always works out for the best.'  Maybe it was this deeply-held belief that shaped the path on which the Alzheimer's would eventually carry her.  Unlike many people with the disease, Mom somehow retained her optimism and serenity literally until her very last day.  She was incapable of holding anxiety about the future, or worries about the past, as she lived only in the present moment.  And her present moment was always a happy one.  Sometimes different ones of us would puzzle about what the meaning of spending a happy day with Mom was, when she would shortly thereafter forget that it had happened.  My husband John would say that all we could do was to help to give her as many 'happy present moments' as we possibly could.  We all tried our best to do that."

"Mom's illness took much of her mind, but it left the essence--her pure goodness, and her sweetness.  That is what we will miss, and it is what will be missed by everyone who knew her.  She loved and was loved."

                                                   John & Sue 2008


  1. Sue: I hope you do not mind me blogging this. I was so touched by your card and eulogy. Your words captured the spirit of your mother and what a wonderful person and mother she was. You are so right when you speak of the "essence" of their soul which remains and is not ravished by this horrible disease. Like your mother, Lily also maintains an optimism and serenity which is remarkable considering their challenges. Our mother's courage is a shining example to us and what a legacy that is! Thanks for sharing with me as it meant so much. Much love, Kerry