Sunday, February 28, 2010

Remember for Me

This morning one of my articles was put on the Alzheimer Reading Room blog which is published by Bob DeMarco who lives in Delray Beach Florida.  Bob is the primary caretaker for his mother who has Alzheimer disease. His blog is a wonderful site offering a wealth of information, insight, and support for those with the disease and those taking care of loved ones with Alzheimers.
The link is directly to my article and my article I posted below the link.

This evening Lily, Dan, & I attended the Dayton Contemporary Dance Company's (DCDC) winter concert which was fabulous.  Prior to the performance we attended a reception for VIP season ticket holders.   They had a nice spread of hordeurves, dessert, & beverages.  Lily remarked that she did not remember ever being treated like this at another dance event.

I replied, "Well this is their way of thanking the people who purchased their most expensive tickets." (which we do by the way to support our daughter who is in DCDC2)

Lily said, "I do that?" as she was sipping her coffee.

To which I replied kiddingly, "No, we do that. You are just along for the ride."

Lily, laughing,  about spit out her coffee.  (She has been doing that a lot lately!)

One of the dance numbers had a voice recording going with a line that stuck in my head.

"When I die, remember me because that is how you will keep me alive."

My mind then jumped to:

"When my brain dies, remember me because that is how you will keep me alive."

which led to:

"When my brain dies, remind me because that is how you will keep me alive."

With Lily I might decide why bother bringing her to dances, shows, movies, events, cruises, etc.

She won't remember, will she?

With Lily I might decide why bother dressing her nice, applying her make up, feeding her favorite foods.

She won't remember whether I do or not or even why it matters, will she?

With Lily, I might forget to include her in conversation, encourage her to laugh, forget what she always enjoyed.

She won't remember, will she?

Maybe not the way we suppose is right.  However, inside somewhere in her core, deep down,  I know she does.  I believe she picks up on the feelings of those around her.  We, her family, are her memory.  We are the reminders to her life.  We are what keep her alive.  For without that she might as well be dead.

"Remember for me because that is how you keep me alive."


  1. Kerry,

    That was really a great one and I will remember that if I ever care for my Mom (I can only hope to care for her half as well as you do). It was so true and if an elderly person can't remember their life and loved ones then they truly have died to themselves. She is so fortunate to have you and I really admire you!

    Love, Lynn

  2. great writing Kerry- you are an author!!!!!!!let me know when I can run over to
    see Lily this week?